Escape From The Ordinary

So my password got lost and my whole blogski got fucked up, vair vair triste. But, it's all good now, HOORAH! The amazing blogging beans is back, hehe. I got a tumblr too, you kooks can follow me there as well http://xthisisnoise.tumblr.com Beans overload? I think sew~
So I think I've figured out a vague-ish life plan ish. I'm going to go to cartier next semester (winter), and do my chem and physics, which I never did in HS. Then I want to go to Abzzsszsz for the Arts & Sciences program. Cuz like, you learn some chem and physics, as well as calculus<3 and then also some psychology and politics, and then you get studio time. Sounds really awesome, and I can do a lot in university from there.
mmm, I got my septum pierced, and went blondie. I dig it. Snake bites on Thursday. What what. Hxc bitchesszszszz. lolz. Speaking of, WCAR concert tonight, but I'm working (n). How sad.
I'm a big lump of kook and impatience, I just want it.
Thanksgiving was spent with the besties, I love them all. They keep me real and crazy at the same time. Couldn't ask for better friends. Yes, I am a huge sap. It is what it is.


Where They Go Hardcore & There's Glitter On The Floor

So I had a crappy weekend last week, and this one seems to be better already. I'm moving past all that stupid shizz, and I got a new job, AKA money for parties and tats and loving. I went to Annies last night, and it was lovely and such. Dramarama fest, but fuck it, it all seems so much shittier when one is inebriated. Everything is lovely here. Now, due to privacy and such I will not go into deets, but we'll just say that I had a GREAT evening. I love meeting new people, especially when theyre so gorgeous :3
P.S. new job is at Bellevue Pizza, come say hi! Hehe. It's chill, the people are nice and it's a good job. Plus free food, AKA Im going to grow to the size of a house soon.
It is a beautiful day out, I spent some lovely time laying in the grasscat with Kill and Smokey. The sun is shining the sky is blue and there is a wonderful breeze. I love wind, it's my favourite weather!
Panto also starts tmrw, I CANNOT wait. Teen chorus FTW. And such. And four days till dance starts! <3 La La La! What a wonderful life :]
SO I must be off to go get ready for works and such, DFTBA!


Dying Is Your Latest Passion

Suicide Prevention Week.
Suicide Prevention Week.
Suicide Prevention Week.
I don't know. I always thought free will existed. If you don't want to live this life, then end it. It's your life. I'd much rather choose when I die, then let the world decide. It's the ultimate act of control to kill yourself. I think people that commit suicide might be more sane then the people who leave their life in the hands of unknown forces. Now, obviously, there are some kook people out there, but even so, why would you want to live if your head is all insane anyways? A life of pain isn't that great. Sure, you leave people who may love you behind, but you're going to die eventually. And you'll always live on in their memories. Why would people that love you want you to continue suffering? Suicide is looked on as such a bad thing, but really, it frees a lot of people from their pain. It's selfish to want people who are suffering to keep on living for oyu, so you can feel better about yourself, that you 'helped' them. I know there are lots of people that attempt suicide and then get 'saved', but face it, if you REALLY want to die, you will. Those people are just desperate for some loving. It happens. Those are the people that need help, the ones that 'try' to die. If you wanted to die, you could easily do it properly.
Now I'm not telling everybody to go kill themselves. There are so many great aspects of life to appreciate and enjoy, if you feel like shit, then think about the future, there is usually something worth living for, someone worth living for.
There is a lot of controversy surrounding human euthanasia, like if someone is sick and dying of cancer or some other terrible disease in a slow and painful way, many argue that it is acceptable to let them choose to die, since their life is full of physical pain. What if you're someone who has depression? Your life is just as full of pain, but then, it's not acceptable to die. Society has such double standards. It drives me crazy.


Fast Cars Fast Women

You know when everything seems absolutely perfect? Well it never fucking lasts. Don't expect things to stay that way. Sure, enjoy it, but not too much cuz then you'll get swept up in something that can only come crashing around you.
Guess who got broken up with last night? Yeah, me. I've never been broken up with before in my life. I don't cry over boys. I don't get fucked over. Oh wait, I guess I do.
I really don't understand it. And it really effing hurts.
You know what else hurts? My goddamn knees cuz I got so absolutely shit faced afterwards I fell down on gravel and bruised my lovely knees :( Gotta love this life. Glamour is my middle name.


I Would Understand

Late nights, and such.
Chronic Insomniac.
So Haiiiii all, My name is Brenna, you can call me Beans, but I think I lost her.
She used to like to learn and rock, she still does, but the nights jumble all my thoughts, don't they do the same to you? I've decided I want a real relationship now. I miss it. I want someone to sleep next to. Someone who really means something to me and vice versa. Enough of this stupid shit. Of being in the HMM HMM HMM mode. I want it. I miss it. I need it. Loneliness rocks my life.
Can't wait to see people tmrw. Or today I guess. Wish I could sleep till then. But my body doesn't want to sleep right now. It wants to eat nachos. And get stoned. So it goes.
I've lost the joy in watching my movies. I really wish I had one I wanted to watch right now, a movie would be perfect for my mind. But my mind doesn't want to slow down. It wants to keep going, rocking and rolling and spinning and twisting. Hence the need for marijuana. Well, not need. Just want. Or something to fuck up this running brain.
I desperately want an apartment. Cuz at least then I'd have roommates to snug with. I wouldn't feel so alone. And I could make fucking nachos without being afraid to awaken my mother and her wrath.
I would also like a job. At Subway. I really liked that job. Maybe I'll get an apartment in St Annes and they'll hire me at that Subsssss. I would also like to be a pro writer.
I feel very suave writer esque right now, sitting in a black lace bra and a high waisted black american apparel cotton skirt. My sex hair in a blob on my head. Typing vivaciously on my laptop, cross-legged whilst listening to Third Eye Blind and Rise Against.
I also want more tea. But that will wake me up more. Fuck that. I'm a martyr. Or an avid complainer. When I wanna be.
So apparently Im going on a walk. Love it.


Watch Me Burn

What a life.
What a lack of life.
What an overdose of life.
Rocking it for a week, experimenting trying to feel something real, or just feel. So many ways of doing it, but which one is wrong and which one is right? Does that really even matter? I don't want to hurt people but somehow I always end up doing just that. I give up on everything. Ditched school due to binges. And lack of interest. I mean, I love learning and I loved what I was doing, but I hate going to school. Figure that shizz out.
I met so many people and felt so many things. Saw how life could be, and I liked it. Then hated it.
Oh boy. So this superstar bud of mine Sam Fleury just informed me that he can play The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice on guitar and sing it. You don't understand. I love that song. That song is so beautiful. Plus I love live music. And I love Sam Fleury. This is an amazing moment. If you like good music p.s. you should totally check out his band, A Plastic Utopia, they're pretty awesome. I'm the biggest fan, duhh. For fuck sake. Yeesh. I'm like flipping out. Woof. Im going to see him do some solo action on Friday, and I'm pretty freaking excited. Him playing guitar is one of the sexiest things ever. I swoon. Mmmm. This is such a stalkerazzi blogpost.
Anycats I'll write later, keep it real and sexy.


Laced With Nitro Glycerin

Oh em gee. So my famjam left for the cod of capes yesterday. Ahaah thats actually a really funny image, like a cod like a fish, wearing a cape? Yee. Lolz. So yeah I have the house to myself for two weeks, which is fun cuz I can cook and play music really loud, but it gets lonely as an elk. I hate sleeping knowing Im the only one in the house. Its weird. Like if I get up in the night I usually have to be mad quietzzz cuz my mother has the ears of a hawk... If hawks even have ears. Do birds have ears? Or just like little holes in the sides of their head? Must look into this. ANYWAYSSS I am mad distractable today apparently. But yeah, so I can be loud. At 4AM.
My buddyroo Killllll came over yday. We made eggs. AKA he did, and he tried to teach me. Im not very skilled with the chicken abortions. So it goes.
Im having people over tonight as well. I think these ten days are just going to be a huge massive sleepover. Huge massive is a redundancy, I know. Suck dick.
So my man candy is away in TO aka toronto. Sadly he cannot be invited to this slumber party. But when he gets back... hehe ;)
Im so loafy right now. I might need a nap. But I dont really have time. UGH.