Call me Crazy but...

No actually you can just call me crazy. Fuck all this writing to please ppl, I'm going to write what I feel right now at this moment. And at this moment I feel absolutely nuts. I felt all day a sort of impending doom, then at 3AM called my dad to pick me up from my friends house and bring me home cuz I was sad. I just felt so alone, and I guess I'd rather be alone with my cat and my stuffed animals. Maybe it was cuz moths flew in, maybe it was cuz my ankle hurt, maybe it's cuz I'm not quite over my attempted suicide of Sunday night. I try to brush stuff aside but I guess it can't be brushed. This empty feeling is stuck here. I hate falling asleep alone. I need someone awake with me for me to sleep well. If this is due to spoiling from Michael I don't know, but all I know now is that I can't cope. Insomnia isn't pretty, especially when it depresses me to extreme extents. I just want to be in his arms. Maybe I sound needy and clingy but wtf I am. So it goes. All I know is that everything feels like it's in a dark hole right now and I just need to chill. I am confining myself to my house until next Tuesday when I will emerge for a dance supper, until then I am here. I think that is best. I need to chill and relax and think.

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