Argh.
Late nights, and such.
Chronic Insomniac.
So Haiiiii all, My name is Brenna, you can call me Beans, but I think I lost her.
She used to like to learn and rock, she still does, but the nights jumble all my thoughts, don't they do the same to you? I've decided I want a real relationship now. I miss it. I want someone to sleep next to. Someone who really means something to me and vice versa. Enough of this stupid shit. Of being in the HMM HMM HMM mode. I want it. I miss it. I need it. Loneliness rocks my life.
Can't wait to see people tmrw. Or today I guess. Wish I could sleep till then. But my body doesn't want to sleep right now. It wants to eat nachos. And get stoned. So it goes.
I've lost the joy in watching my movies. I really wish I had one I wanted to watch right now, a movie would be perfect for my mind. But my mind doesn't want to slow down. It wants to keep going, rocking and rolling and spinning and twisting. Hence the need for marijuana. Well, not need. Just want. Or something to fuck up this running brain.
I desperately want an apartment. Cuz at least then I'd have roommates to snug with. I wouldn't feel so alone. And I could make fucking nachos without being afraid to awaken my mother and her wrath.
I would also like a job. At Subway. I really liked that job. Maybe I'll get an apartment in St Annes and they'll hire me at that Subsssss. I would also like to be a pro writer.
I feel very suave writer esque right now, sitting in a black lace bra and a high waisted black american apparel cotton skirt. My sex hair in a blob on my head. Typing vivaciously on my laptop, cross-legged whilst listening to Third Eye Blind and Rise Against.
I also want more tea. But that will wake me up more. Fuck that. I'm a martyr. Or an avid complainer. When I wanna be.
So apparently Im going on a walk. Love it.
xxxxxxxxx
1.9.10
25.8.10
Watch Me Burn
What a life.
What a lack of life.
What an overdose of life.
Rocking it for a week, experimenting trying to feel something real, or just feel. So many ways of doing it, but which one is wrong and which one is right? Does that really even matter? I don't want to hurt people but somehow I always end up doing just that. I give up on everything. Ditched school due to binges. And lack of interest. I mean, I love learning and I loved what I was doing, but I hate going to school. Figure that shizz out.
I met so many people and felt so many things. Saw how life could be, and I liked it. Then hated it.
Oh boy. So this superstar bud of mine Sam Fleury just informed me that he can play The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice on guitar and sing it. You don't understand. I love that song. That song is so beautiful. Plus I love live music. And I love Sam Fleury. This is an amazing moment. If you like good music p.s. you should totally check out his band, A Plastic Utopia, they're pretty awesome. I'm the biggest fan, duhh. For fuck sake. Yeesh. I'm like flipping out. Woof. Im going to see him do some solo action on Friday, and I'm pretty freaking excited. Him playing guitar is one of the sexiest things ever. I swoon. Mmmm. This is such a stalkerazzi blogpost.
Anycats I'll write later, keep it real and sexy.
What a lack of life.
What an overdose of life.
Rocking it for a week, experimenting trying to feel something real, or just feel. So many ways of doing it, but which one is wrong and which one is right? Does that really even matter? I don't want to hurt people but somehow I always end up doing just that. I give up on everything. Ditched school due to binges. And lack of interest. I mean, I love learning and I loved what I was doing, but I hate going to school. Figure that shizz out.
I met so many people and felt so many things. Saw how life could be, and I liked it. Then hated it.
Oh boy. So this superstar bud of mine Sam Fleury just informed me that he can play The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice on guitar and sing it. You don't understand. I love that song. That song is so beautiful. Plus I love live music. And I love Sam Fleury. This is an amazing moment. If you like good music p.s. you should totally check out his band, A Plastic Utopia, they're pretty awesome. I'm the biggest fan, duhh. For fuck sake. Yeesh. I'm like flipping out. Woof. Im going to see him do some solo action on Friday, and I'm pretty freaking excited. Him playing guitar is one of the sexiest things ever. I swoon. Mmmm. This is such a stalkerazzi blogpost.
Anycats I'll write later, keep it real and sexy.
14.8.10
Laced With Nitro Glycerin
Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Oh em gee. So my famjam left for the cod of capes yesterday. Ahaah thats actually a really funny image, like a cod like a fish, wearing a cape? Yee. Lolz. So yeah I have the house to myself for two weeks, which is fun cuz I can cook and play music really loud, but it gets lonely as an elk. I hate sleeping knowing Im the only one in the house. Its weird. Like if I get up in the night I usually have to be mad quietzzz cuz my mother has the ears of a hawk... If hawks even have ears. Do birds have ears? Or just like little holes in the sides of their head? Must look into this. ANYWAYSSS I am mad distractable today apparently. But yeah, so I can be loud. At 4AM.
My buddyroo Killllll came over yday. We made eggs. AKA he did, and he tried to teach me. Im not very skilled with the chicken abortions. So it goes.
Im having people over tonight as well. I think these ten days are just going to be a huge massive sleepover. Huge massive is a redundancy, I know. Suck dick.
So my man candy is away in TO aka toronto. Sadly he cannot be invited to this slumber party. But when he gets back... hehe ;)
Im so loafy right now. I might need a nap. But I dont really have time. UGH.
OKAY BYE KIDDOS
Oh em gee. So my famjam left for the cod of capes yesterday. Ahaah thats actually a really funny image, like a cod like a fish, wearing a cape? Yee. Lolz. So yeah I have the house to myself for two weeks, which is fun cuz I can cook and play music really loud, but it gets lonely as an elk. I hate sleeping knowing Im the only one in the house. Its weird. Like if I get up in the night I usually have to be mad quietzzz cuz my mother has the ears of a hawk... If hawks even have ears. Do birds have ears? Or just like little holes in the sides of their head? Must look into this. ANYWAYSSS I am mad distractable today apparently. But yeah, so I can be loud. At 4AM.
My buddyroo Killllll came over yday. We made eggs. AKA he did, and he tried to teach me. Im not very skilled with the chicken abortions. So it goes.
Im having people over tonight as well. I think these ten days are just going to be a huge massive sleepover. Huge massive is a redundancy, I know. Suck dick.
So my man candy is away in TO aka toronto. Sadly he cannot be invited to this slumber party. But when he gets back... hehe ;)
Im so loafy right now. I might need a nap. But I dont really have time. UGH.
OKAY BYE KIDDOS
9.8.10
What's Not to Adore?
Hallo internet.
And such.
So here's the deal. My friends came over the other day. And we planned our lives together. We are going to get a loft soon, that will be beautiful. We will bake cookies once a week. We will watch VHS films. There will be a kitchen, a balcony, a music nook, and a HUGE room of snug. We will eat baked mac and cheese, with breadcrumbs on top. We will have so much bitch it will be insane. We will only drink out of champagne flutes. Most of our shopping will be done at the dollar store. We haven't decided what kind of pet we will have. Perhaps some kitties. Or a hedgehog.
I think it will be jolly and lovely.
P.s. I got a new boyfrannnnnd. Hes cute. And plays gee-tar.
xxxxxxxxx
And such.
So here's the deal. My friends came over the other day. And we planned our lives together. We are going to get a loft soon, that will be beautiful. We will bake cookies once a week. We will watch VHS films. There will be a kitchen, a balcony, a music nook, and a HUGE room of snug. We will eat baked mac and cheese, with breadcrumbs on top. We will have so much bitch it will be insane. We will only drink out of champagne flutes. Most of our shopping will be done at the dollar store. We haven't decided what kind of pet we will have. Perhaps some kitties. Or a hedgehog.
I think it will be jolly and lovely.
P.s. I got a new boyfrannnnnd. Hes cute. And plays gee-tar.
xxxxxxxxx
28.7.10
Another Messy Ending
Long time no blogski.
I had my famjam reunioncat. It was fun. Got to see people I hadn't seen in a long time. There was also this girl who came who my Aunt sort of 'adopted' in Ukraine. Her name was Angela and she was pretty much AWESOME. She didn't speak English so I kind of taught her while she helped me with my Ukrainian. I can understand really well, but my speaking skills are lacking a bit. We managed though. She was quite adorable. She might be coming here for Xmas though, which would be great! We took some pictures, so when my Aunt sends them to me I'll be posting them, on Facebook at least.
I started school also. It's really fun and interesting. Made friends with a girl from the Gaspe Coast. Shes too cute, the expressions from there are amazing. Instead of saying really or real they say some. I've started doing it now too a bit hehe. Ex. You're some pretty. I love it haha.
I want harem pants. Really badly. Thought I'd share that. They look so comfortable, but you look rather fashion forward while wearing them. Im so down for a kick ass charcoal grey pair, or an indigo pair. Paired with a nice tank and lots of jewellery it would be gorgeous. I also need to invest in a gun metal cross. Im not really religious, but they look badass. I know, its probably a sin, but looking bad should be a sin too. Ohhh, I'm going straight to hell.
On a personal note, life is going a bit kook. Which is fun, but stressful a bit. I dont really want to divulge in personal details when I haven't real discussed this much in real life, but I hope it all ends up awesome and fun! :]
Anyways I am starving. Must go chow down. On cats. Jokes.
xoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx DFTBA
I had my famjam reunioncat. It was fun. Got to see people I hadn't seen in a long time. There was also this girl who came who my Aunt sort of 'adopted' in Ukraine. Her name was Angela and she was pretty much AWESOME. She didn't speak English so I kind of taught her while she helped me with my Ukrainian. I can understand really well, but my speaking skills are lacking a bit. We managed though. She was quite adorable. She might be coming here for Xmas though, which would be great! We took some pictures, so when my Aunt sends them to me I'll be posting them, on Facebook at least.
I started school also. It's really fun and interesting. Made friends with a girl from the Gaspe Coast. Shes too cute, the expressions from there are amazing. Instead of saying really or real they say some. I've started doing it now too a bit hehe. Ex. You're some pretty. I love it haha.
I want harem pants. Really badly. Thought I'd share that. They look so comfortable, but you look rather fashion forward while wearing them. Im so down for a kick ass charcoal grey pair, or an indigo pair. Paired with a nice tank and lots of jewellery it would be gorgeous. I also need to invest in a gun metal cross. Im not really religious, but they look badass. I know, its probably a sin, but looking bad should be a sin too. Ohhh, I'm going straight to hell.
On a personal note, life is going a bit kook. Which is fun, but stressful a bit. I dont really want to divulge in personal details when I haven't real discussed this much in real life, but I hope it all ends up awesome and fun! :]
Anyways I am starving. Must go chow down. On cats. Jokes.
xoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx DFTBA
4.7.10
Pretty as a Car Crash
Haiiiiiii ppl!
So the other day somehow my boytoy and I got to watching videos about area 51. Area 51 is a government/military base that is super secretive and like if you trespass they are allowed to use deadly force to get you out of there. There is suspected Alien experimentation and U.F.O.'s are spotted there quite often. There was a case of an employee there who quit/ got fired and then decided to tell the world that they experiment on alien spacecraft.
Here's my take on the whole thing. Since it is a military base, it's actually an airforce base, they obviously don't want outsiders looking at it and knowing what's going on because they could give information to other countries, which would totally defeat the purpose of developing superior weapons / aircrafts. UFO means unidentified flying object, and if they are testing planes there, there are OBVIOUSLY going to be things flying about that people have never seen before. And that guy probably got fired and needed some quick cash and knew that he could get interviews and TV bookings if he made up some huge conspiracy.
That is my take on Area 51, in a nutshell.
Im going to apply for some jobs today, but it is effing hot out. I need some nice clothing of the appropriate but not sweltering variety. Good luck Beans. I have some nice shorts from buffalo that are tailored and professional looking, Im thinking of pairing it with my oversized white blouse/ dress shirt from H&M, but if I sweat that will look nasty. Oh dilemmas.
Anyways kiddies keep it real!
So the other day somehow my boytoy and I got to watching videos about area 51. Area 51 is a government/military base that is super secretive and like if you trespass they are allowed to use deadly force to get you out of there. There is suspected Alien experimentation and U.F.O.'s are spotted there quite often. There was a case of an employee there who quit/ got fired and then decided to tell the world that they experiment on alien spacecraft.
Here's my take on the whole thing. Since it is a military base, it's actually an airforce base, they obviously don't want outsiders looking at it and knowing what's going on because they could give information to other countries, which would totally defeat the purpose of developing superior weapons / aircrafts. UFO means unidentified flying object, and if they are testing planes there, there are OBVIOUSLY going to be things flying about that people have never seen before. And that guy probably got fired and needed some quick cash and knew that he could get interviews and TV bookings if he made up some huge conspiracy.
That is my take on Area 51, in a nutshell.
Im going to apply for some jobs today, but it is effing hot out. I need some nice clothing of the appropriate but not sweltering variety. Good luck Beans. I have some nice shorts from buffalo that are tailored and professional looking, Im thinking of pairing it with my oversized white blouse/ dress shirt from H&M, but if I sweat that will look nasty. Oh dilemmas.
Anyways kiddies keep it real!
30.6.10
Inner Moonlight
So today I took it upon myself to break one of the number one fashion rules: Brown + Black. I did it. I wore brown AA leggings with a swooshy black ribbed cardigan by Artizan. I felt like breaking some rules today. I think I did it quite nicely, pairing it with nude t-strap heels from Aldo and a ruffled burgundy top from Dyamite. Also with a faux Burberry plaid headband. I enjoyed it =]
I went to go see The Spill Canvas concert on Saturday. It was beyond fabulous. If you havent heard of them, I suggest you check them out. Favourite songs include The Tide, All Hail The Heartbreaker, This is for Keeps, and Lusta Prima Vista. ALSOOOOO Nick performed a kick ass rendition of Self-Conclusion.
WOW I'm watching So You Think You Can Dance, I love this show. I wish I was half as good as these people. As far as fashion goes, I love almost all of Cat Deeley's dresses. I would kill for her legs. And Mia is looking killer sexy tonight. I also cannot wait to see Alex Wong and Twitch do a hip hop routine, mmmm baby.
ANYWAYS Y'ALL PEACE BE WITH YOU AND PARTY HARDY ON CANADA (DOMINION) DAY!!!!
I went to go see The Spill Canvas concert on Saturday. It was beyond fabulous. If you havent heard of them, I suggest you check them out. Favourite songs include The Tide, All Hail The Heartbreaker, This is for Keeps, and Lusta Prima Vista. ALSOOOOO Nick performed a kick ass rendition of Self-Conclusion.
WOW I'm watching So You Think You Can Dance, I love this show. I wish I was half as good as these people. As far as fashion goes, I love almost all of Cat Deeley's dresses. I would kill for her legs. And Mia is looking killer sexy tonight. I also cannot wait to see Alex Wong and Twitch do a hip hop routine, mmmm baby.
ANYWAYS Y'ALL PEACE BE WITH YOU AND PARTY HARDY ON CANADA (DOMINION) DAY!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
